My Girlfriend Wants To Share Something

Ok pervs and creepers... don't get excited. She wants to share her thoughts of our experience at the bar tonight. If you thought I teased you with the title then you are a creep. We went to the bar for a few drinks tonight and something bugged her. What is it you ask? Read on my friends. read on.

I have to express my feelings for girls that go to the bar thinking that they are the HOTTEST things that walked in there. As I sit around a table full of guys, I watch one fat chick at a table constantly look around the bar, flipping her hair and licking her lips to see who notices her. I notice you. You're nasty. If I'm not the only one that notices how fat and nasty you are, then that just proves that nobody else is looking. She gets up to go to the bathroom and shakes her shit as she goes. Gross. I almost vomited on myself. THEN, there's the oriental girl who walks up to the napkin dispenser while and Eminem song is bumping. As she is taking about 500 napkins, she is trying to wiggle her ass into a dance. Mind you, she is wearing jeans that are sagging off her ass, with butt pockets that close and have buttons and you can see her underwear lines. I don't care if thongs aren't in style anymore. Underwear lines are never and will never be in style. But for this girl, they were. After she took her 500 napkins, she starting walking back to her table, FULL of guys, and was walking like she was on the cat walk. Are you serious? Did you look in the mirror before you left your studio apartment? You're wearing a t-shirt that obviously hung down mid-thigh, that you rolled up and tied in the back with your hair tie. Wasn't that cool to do in 1992? As she left, same persona. Give me a break. Every other girl at the bar put you to shame today and you know it.
My favorite girls of the night were the ones that came in wearing their little black dresses with their heels and COLUMBIA jackets. Awesome combination. First of all, you're at a sports bar. Second, you shouldn't be wearing a little dress that stops RIGHT UNDER your FAT ASS. Your thighs are touching!! And we are looking right up to the point where your crotch starts. Disgusting. We really, really don't want to see your cottage cheese thighs. I know when you left home and your "friends" told you that you looked good, and you looked in the mirror, you only looked at your hair, half your face and the front of your outfit. You should know better and be ashamed of yourself. You know your friends don't think you look that good. They only tell you that because they don't want you to look better than them.
I'm done. I feel a lot better.

Ok me again. I feel better too. Why? Because my girlfriend feels better. She feels better, I feel better. I'm young and always made fun of married guys that said to always make your wife happy or you're going to be miserable. Well, now I know what they mean. I'm 100% sure other people feel the same way. I'm also 100% sure other people are going to think we are jerks and insensitive. Nope. Ok end of this blog. Time to enjoy the rest of the evening since my girlfriend is happy. Uh huh.


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